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Renee Ulloa

Focusing on What’s Really Important During the Holidays

Updated: Nov 19

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, warmth, and togetherness. But for many, it’s also a whirlwind of to-do lists, gift shopping, event planning, and family obligations. With all the busyness, it's easy to lose sight of what the holidays are truly about — and more importantly, what we need in order to feel centered and fulfilled during this time of year.


So, as we approach the season of celebration, let's take a moment to pause, reflect, and focus on what’s really important.


1. Connection Over Perfection

It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of the "perfect" holiday. We envision beautifully wrapped gifts, perfectly curated meals, and flawless family gatherings. Social media often heightens these ideals, showing us flawless images of holiday decor, perfectly roasted turkeys, and smiling faces around a picture-perfect tree.

But here’s the truth: the holidays are not about achieving perfection. The memories that matter most aren’t those that come from flawlessly executed plans or pristine decor. They are the moments where we connect with the people we love — or even with ourselves.

Focus on quality time over curated experiences. If a family dinner doesn’t turn out exactly as planned, or the gifts aren't as expensive or elaborate as you hoped, that's okay. What will stay with you are the shared moments of laughter, the stories exchanged, and the quiet joy of simply being together. That’s what makes the holidays truly meaningful.


2. Presence, Not Presents

The pressure to buy the "perfect gift" can be overwhelming, but gifts don’t have to be materialistic or expensive to hold value. The best gifts often come in the form of time, attention, and thoughtfulness.

As much as we love giving (and receiving) physical presents, one of the most precious gifts we can give others is the gift of our full presence. In a world that feels increasingly distracted by screens and to-do lists, simply being fully engaged in the moment can be the most meaningful gift we offer. This could mean putting away your phone during a family meal, actively listening during a conversation, or taking the time to share a genuine, heartfelt sentiment with someone you care about.


3. Self-Care and Boundaries

The holidays often bring increased expectations, both from others and from ourselves. We may feel compelled to say "yes" to every invitation, host the perfect dinner party, or go out of our way to make everything "special" for those around us. But in the process, we can easily neglect our own needs, leading to burnout and stress.

It’s essential to recognize that your well-being matters — especially during the holidays. Saying "no" is not a sign of failure or selfishness; it's a necessary act of self-preservation. Prioritize rest, and don’t over-schedule yourself. Set boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health, and make time for activities that replenish you. Whether that’s reading a good book, taking a walk outside, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of tea, carving out moments of solitude and self-care can help you stay balanced and energized during a time that can otherwise feel overwhelming.

4. Gratitude and Reflection

The holidays are often associated with giving, but they are also an opportunity for reflection and gratitude. Taking a step back and appreciating what you have — your relationships, your health, your home, and the small moments of everyday life — can shift your perspective and bring more meaning to the season.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be expressed through grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s the simple act of pausing to reflect on the positive things in your life that can bring the greatest sense of peace. Whether it’s keeping a gratitude journal, sharing what you’re thankful for with a loved one, or simply taking a quiet moment to reflect, acknowledging the good can help us appreciate the present, rather than focusing on what’s missing or what we feel we still need to accomplish.


5. Kindness and Giving Back

While the holidays often emphasize the joy of receiving, they can also be a time to focus on giving back. Helping others — whether through acts of kindness, volunteering, or donating — can provide a sense of fulfillment and perspective. It's easy to get wrapped up in the material aspects of the season, but contributing to a cause or making someone else’s day brighter can be deeply rewarding.

Acts of kindness don’t need to be large or costly. They can be as simple as reaching out to someone who might be lonely, offering to help a neighbor, or supporting a charity you care about. By focusing on giving, we not only make a positive impact on others, but we also nurture our own sense of purpose and connection.


6. Letting Go of Expectations

One of the hardest things to do during the holidays is to let go of expectations. Whether it’s expectations about how a holiday should look, how others should behave, or how things should go, it can create unnecessary pressure and disappointment. The reality is that holidays, like life, are messy, imperfect, and unpredictable.

Instead of clinging to rigid expectations, try to embrace flexibility. Embrace the unplanned moments and the spontaneity that come with being in the present. Sometimes, the most memorable and meaningful moments happen when we let go of the script and allow life to unfold naturally.



The holidays are a time to pause, reflect, and celebrate, but they don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By focusing on what’s truly important — connection, presence, self-care, gratitude, kindness, and letting go of unrealistic expectations — we can create a season that feels rich with meaning and joy. In a world that often emphasizes the “bigger, better, more” approach, it’s the small, quiet moments that often matter most.

This year, let’s remember that the heart of the holiday season isn’t found in what we buy, decorate, or achieve, but in the love and presence we share with others — and with ourselves.

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